hUMANS....!

David Cameron wants to get on with dishing out new 'tough swift' justice for your local rioter, apparently they will all be in & out before Big Brother starts, at one point channel 5 were worried most of their audience were gonna be banged up without TV privileges!!

MY WIFE is a teenage twat!

tis weird..just think if we were all the same!....and we were ALL impressed by loudmouth no talent money squandering celebrity freaks....maybe we would all fancy Katy Price.......jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee​eeeeeeeez what a truly horrific thought!

justin...justn....justin!

maybe our our ole friend David cameron might want to invest too!

jobs jobs jobs!

Its great to be living in a country where the right people are in the right jobs....David Cameron for example!....oops sorry forget that one!

U Sad Loser!

facebook!...chasebook!

jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez the whole freakin world is off its ed!....even Bin Laden did a 'last' facebook post....and he had more friends than me!!!....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

karzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

ok then.....you've got a nice car!....its cost you an arm & a leg!....you've probably spent more on that thing in the last few months than some country's have to keep their population alive!!!!......its all shiny, its got blacked out windows.....so I'm guessing you are as ugly as sin!...but hey you've got a GREAT car!...and yes its pr...obably true that everybody who sees you passing by, says 'wow what a lovelee car, they must be very succesful, wonderfull & hugely popular!!'....its got GO faster stripes....presumably to make you...erm....GO faster....its got a wing thing on the back....presumably....to make it fekkin fly when you come across a piece of tarmac thats not good enuff for your new white wall tyres!!!???.....so why is it that when you get into this MEAN 'MUTHA FUKKA OF A' MACHINE...you automatically turn into a COMPLETE TOSSA!.....in fact the better your car is...the bigger ARSEHOLE you become!!!.....................now for 'Comedy Sports Car's'....just don't get me on those basterd things!!!!!

reeeeee.............ligion!

its a weird thing aint it!!!.......religion!...its makes one feel good about ones'self!...something to believe in, aspire to!....love your fellow man....oooops sorry they don't allow that stuff do they!?....erm maybe it gives one a little bit of one up man'ship!...'I believe this and you don't...so I can treat you like shyte while I g...et treated like a queen (oops sorry!)...I mean A King!'....some religions do weird stuff too..speaking to little seemingly inane objects....or giving little pressies....eggs for example! and chocolate ones at that...now that IS weird & very fattening!! ;-)......now you may laff at me or even hate me for NOT being 'A Believer' but honestly I do LIKE the idea of religion! I really do!......this crap that we live thru! surely amounts to something!....its gotta.......nobody would come up with the bestest idea ever...ie life....the human race......and there not to be a point! but to me....our 'point' always has a number of things which don't sit comfortably.....a big fat slice of hatred....persecution, torture, abuse & murder!......oh yeh with a lot of war thrown in for good measure.....so yeh religion on the face of it is a TOP idea!....and yeh I kinda wished I'd have thought of it!....but surely it would just be a total none starter with our human rights people nowadays!.....mmmmmmmm.....interesting!

you're a twat!

I was walking down the street the other day and a girl came up to me! dunno what was wrong with her but she stunk of booze!…anyway I digress! she stood there face to face with me and she said….’you know what….you…you’re a twat!’…..I smiled trying to impress, she was quite good looking!…I smiled and said….’yeh I know’….….she said…’WHAT!’……I said ‘yeh I know’, she giggled and slurred…’did you hear what I said you fff.ffff…..fffekin knobhead…you’re a twat!’….I smiled back and said…’yeh I know, always been one babe!…..’it was weird its like she knew me…intimately!…..at this point she started waving her arms and said ‘NO NO NO! don’t agree with me…you…ffff….fekkin twat!’ to which I responded ‘but you’re a very agreeable person and may I incur, very very attractive altho the frothing from the side of the mouth I could do without!’, she smiled, turned and then punched me in the face!…..phew, glad I didn’t disagree with her!…you see!….WOMEN! you gotta know how to handle them….one up for male domination I’d say shweeeeeet!

uma uma uma!

I love adverts, they are the best thing in the world! much more interesting than any other shit on teevee!...I especially like the one where there's a tram crash and the corner shop gets crushed and...and.....that blokes missus who's just had that baby gets crushed to death! and then everybody else in the street comes out to see whats going on and then Ken Barlow comes out and he gets a huge piece of tram track thru his chest and then the tram which has just crashed...and is now precariously resting on the side of the bridge falls over into the street killing everybody in site, including all the emergency services people, then a bunch of terrorists in a toyota truck come trundling down the street, pick up the survivors and parade them on teevee and slowly mutilate every last one of em.....erm....what do you mean that wasn't an advert! OH! BUT IT WAS SUCKAS!.....yeh I love adverts!

war and other wonderfull things!

ok, I know you miss those good ole days don't cha?....the sweet sweet sound of a burning ford capri, the shimmering flames, lighting up the window of a council house across a dark street...the sound of a doc martin running down our street, the crunch of broken brick against soft skull!!!....the swish of a bread knife cutting thru the crisp tear gas filled air!!.....yeh yeh I know what you're thinking at this moment......good times they be fine sir....good times!!!.....but hey you know what, I've got a feeling!....times are a changin'.....you may not need to wait much longer meatbags!......sooner than you think suckas!!!......the beautiful game..this wonderfull earth.....MY ARSE!.....WAR do we fuckin love it or what!! ;-(....happy days are here again...lala.....la....la....laaaaaaaa!!

My Life As A Teenage tit!

there's only one thing better than being a teenager and thats being a robot!...u can say & do what you like and people put it down to programming!...altho having said that!....surely its ALL just a 'simple' programming glitch....mmmm....interesting!

My Wife Is A Frigid Robot!?

ok then so I know! its bad....I've slagged off pap'n'roll godz!!....I spose its kinda like slapping the queen in the face or (gulp!) Elton John even.....but hey whats with modern bands....one minute they wanna be taken 'seriously' then next they wanna 'just get down for the kidz'...one minute yeh we're influenced by 'real' bands then the next we wanna be like Green Day...then aaargh! Bun Jovi(!!)......then no not really! we wanna be like Boyzone & make lots of spodoolaz!...'because its nuthin serious we're just anutha band making POP musac' (sounds like a horrible re-occurring 80's nitemare to me ;-)....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!......hehe....what happened to good honest musac!!......Lemmy for example 'Hi Lemmy you know that wooooonderfull new song by those lovely looking boyz Westlife.....you know what me ole mate!....thats what you need!, you've already got the credability now you just need a 'real' song to sell! it'll go down a storm with the kidz just what you need...buddy...pal....matey!' yeh, YOU GO TRY THAT! just don't ask me to help you get his shiny black cowboy boot back out of your shiny little ass.......uuuuuuuuurgh!
www.machineboy.co.uk

My Life As A Teenage Robot no5!

ok so apparently one day you'll understand!...but until then put your feet up, I'll make the tea and you watch f****n eastenders!
www.machineboy.co.uk

My Life As A Teenage Robot...is gettin political wew!

ok then more from the irrelavant world of 'My life as a teenage robot'.......yes I know I should be hung drawn & quartered for this one!...but hey on a lighter note whatever happened to that good ole 'take him down to be hung drawn & quartered'?........well maybe it would sort out our 'full to brimming' prison problems..........plus extra FREE meat products for cattle feed...yeh heart of serial killer...get a bit of that into our foodchain! shweeeet!.....and apparently its a right royal grungy mess afterwards too...erm....so I've heard!......yeh what a great idea....you know what, I should be 'Presidentey of THE WORLD'........... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...you gotta imagine me laughing kinda like Vincent Price!!....phew spooky....I told ya the machines will take over ONE DAY.....then you'll be sorry suckas!!....
www.machineboy.co.uk

My Life As A Teenage Robot tooooooooo!

ok then here's the latest 'My Life As A Teenage Robot' cartooooon....I have been told by my editorial staff (hehe ;-) at Machine Boy towers! my new cartoon strip can't just be used as a chance to slag off the bands that I HATE & DETEST!...........to which I said 'I can't even mention Oasis & UB40 then.....BOLLOX!......gggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! fascist bastards!'....
www.machineboy.co.uk

NEW Machine Boy is on the weeklies!

wow so Machine Boy unleashes his latest socially aware piece of crap.....erm sorry!....we mean artwork on the universe & elsewhere with his new childishly created weekly cartoon called 'My life as a teenage robot!'.....ok granted this tosh will never grace the pages of any 'high quality' press (you know like The Sun or The Sunday Sport) but Machine Boy has promised he will be spicing it up now & then with some nude'titee and even getting a HOT bitch involved!......now that new washing machine his next door neighbour has just purchased....god damb it THAT IS HOT HOT HOT!
www.machineboy.co.uk

MACHINE BOY on RR100....!

Machine Boy have created a brand new track for the Red Robot Records 100th single release!...Machine Boy's track its called Perfect Red and the 10 track single features other great artists such as Oscar TG & Will Scarlett etc...the single will be released on the 13th September 2010.

LINK:
CLICK HERE TO CHECK SAMPLES OUT ON AMAZON!

MACHINE BOY FREE Jamie remix mp3 day 3!

Jamie (noize'dream'mix) by machineboy
Here's Machine Boy's noize dream remix of Jamie...from the Jamies Dream EP!.....click the little arrow to download the FREE mp3....shplendid!

LINKS:
MACHINE BOY IN FACEBOOK'LAND!
MACHINE BOY HOMEPAGE!
MACHINE BOY'S BLOG!
CLICK HERE TO BUY JAMIE'S DREAM EP AT AMAZON!